For many people going through a divorce in Connecticut, the most emotional question is: “Should I keep the house?” It’s a decision tied to memories, children, security, and your future.
But keeping the house isn’t just about comfort, it’s about long-term financial reality. A New Haven divorce lawyer can help you understand your options. Below, we walk through what to consider when deciding whether to keep or sell your marital home during a divorce.
Why It’s So Hard to Let Go of the House
The house is more than a structure, it holds your past. For many divorcing spouses, it feels safer to stay where things are familiar than to face the unknown.
This emotional attachment often stems from two things:
- A connection to the past
- A fear of the future
But a home also comes with financial obligations. If you’re not ready for those costs post-divorce, the emotional comfort may quickly turn into financial strain.
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Can You Afford to Keep the House After Divorce?
You might feel like keeping the house is a “win”, but make sure it’s a win you can afford.
Start by looking at your post-divorce income:
- Employment income
- Child support
- Spousal support
Then review your expenses:
- Mortgage
- Property taxes
- Utilities and insurance
- Maintenance and unexpected repairs (think: roof, furnace, septic, etc.)
Don’t forget to check your credit score. You may need to refinance the mortgage into your name. That will depend on your debt-to-income ratio and credit health.
If keeping the house stretches your budget too far, you risk becoming house poor, owning your home, but unable to afford anything else.
Run the Numbers Before You Decide
Many people make an emotional decision to keep the home first, and try to fit everything else around it. That’s often a mistake.
Instead, treat this like any other financial decision:
- Add up your projected income
- List all expected expenses
- Include debt payments from the divorce settlement
- Consider long-term maintenance costs
Only then can you get a realistic sense of whether keeping the home makes sense.
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Why the House Decision Should Come Last
At the start of a divorce, you likely won’t have full financial clarity yet. Until you know what your income, support, and debt picture will look like, it’s hard to make smart housing decisions.
That’s why we often advise clients to hold off on house decisions until later in the divorce process, after support amounts, custody arrangements, and asset division are more clear.
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What If You’re Emotionally Tied to the House?
If you’re determined to keep the house, take a step back and ask yourself:
- Am I holding on because I’m afraid of what’s next?
- Do I think my kids will prefer me if I keep the house?
- Am I competing with my spouse over it?
- Am I avoiding the stress of moving?
These are valid feelings, but they shouldn’t drive your legal and financial decisions.
A house doesn’t equal stability unless you can actually afford it. Sometimes, letting go is the strongest thing you can do.
Selling the House May Be a Fresh Start
If the numbers don’t support keeping the home, or you’re ready for a new chapter, selling may be your best option.
Reach out to a trusted real estate agent to understand your options. You might be surprised how freeing it feels to let go of the old and look forward to something new.
Remember: A house is just walls and a roof. A home is what you create inside it.
Final Thoughts: Choose Peace, Not Pressure
Whether you keep or sell the house during your divorce is a deeply personal decision, but it should be a financially informed one.
At Happy Even After, our Connecticut divorce attorneys help clients understand their options so they can make empowered choices. We’ll guide you through the financial and emotional decisions involved in divorce, including what to do with the marital home.
Your new beginning starts with clarity. Let us help you get there.
Call or text 203-288-7800 or complete a Legal Consultation form
